12 Stupid Things that Mess up Your Recovery - Part 1 of 4

“12 Stupid Things that Mess Up your Recovery” - Part 1 of 4
This book was written by Allen Berger, Ph.D and it was given to me just after I returned home from rehabilitation.  If you have read my book, you are aware that every six months I review my action plan to maintain my sobriety.  Many items remain the same, some items get dropped, and yet others I step up my game plan.  I do this as I know how easily we loose sight of our goals, or take some actions for granted.  I am determined to keep my sobriety sacred.
So here is a list of the “Stupid Things” for your consideration.  You may not fully agree with the author’s list, but knowledge is power.  People I know in recovery that are doing the best so far in this nearly 5 year journey of our’s are those that are completely and brutally honest with themselves, and constantly learning about themselves and the human condition in general.  
So over the course of the next couple of Journal’s I will outline the 12 “Stupid Things”, a few at a time….
Stupid Thing 1: Believing Addiction to One Substance is the Only Problem
“Our best chance for recovery lies in total abstinence from ALL mind-altering drugs.”  
Alcoholics may think they are fooling themselves when they admit they can no longer drink but CAN have an occasional drink for a special occasion.  Or, no longer drink but can socially smoke marijuana.  I remember someone at rehab saying in a group session that they were grateful to get clean from the hard drugs (Cocaine as I recall), and would focus more on the “less” harmful (ie weed or alcohol) when times get tough.
The truth however is total abstinence from mind altering substances.  When times were tough in my life, I turned to alcohol.  But if now when times are tough I turned to weed as an example, I would no longer be  maintaining my sobriety…it is another “substance” that takes me away from the real issue that needs to be sorted.
It is different for everyone, but meditation, daily exercise, talking about the issues with a friend or my counsellor, journaling are a few of my coping mechanism’s in this new life.
Stupid Thing 2: Believing Sobriety Will Fix Everything
Certainly when I got home from my treatment, I felt good about my sobriety.  But I had to remember that my coping mechanism’s had to change completely from the numbing I was doing….Problem at work ?  Go home and have a few drinks; Problem with a family member?  Ignore it and them…it’s their problem, not mine, so let’s have a few more, etc.
The first step was to directly treat the symptom of the problem (in this case, over drinking).
The second step is repair the damage done…better eating, calmer emotions, basically taking care of our physical, mental and spiritual health.
The third step is treating the underlying reasons and learning to have healthier relationships with those around us.  This may also include learning to set healthier boundaries for ourselves.  
During my nearly 5 years of sobriety, I have continued to research and learn from readings, listening to podcasts, regular sessions with a counsellor, talking to others with similar pathways or recovery, course work, etc. 
Stupid Thing 3: Pursuing Recovery with Less Energy Than Pursuing Addiction
When I first started this journey, I was complaining to myself about having time to read a self help book, or listen to a podcast on recovery, etc.  
One day, I thought, “who am I kidding?”  I ALWAYS found the time in my day to go to the liquor store, I ALWAYS found the time to isolate from my phone and not answer email, phone calls, etc.
And now, I don’t have enough energy to take 15 minutes to journal?; I don’t have the time to dial into a meeting, or a call with a fellow person in recovery?; I don’t have time to read one chapter of a recovery book?…….
Get real Cheryl, make the time for things that are important.  My sobriety is number one to me, so that I can be in this world at my best.
SO, tune in to the next issue of The Journal for “Stupid Things # 4, 5, & 6.