​Life can be hard.  Life can bring challenges … huge ones, and small ones.  Life can also be short.  With all of these thoughts, I know that each day I get to live on this earth is a blessing that I am grateful for.

This week I am so grateful for all the kind words and notes I’ve received in response to my new book, Climbing The Stairs - My Journey from Addiction to Pure Joy.  

I have been living in a state of pure joy for some time now, and the more I express that joy and gratitude, the more I see around me.  I know that when I walk in a room or down a street with a smile on my face, people notice.  I know when I greet people with a simple hello, good morning, good afternoon, that the response is warming.  It seems to me that the universe is glowing brighter when I do this, and it pays me back ten-fold with even more blessings and kind words.

In the past week, I received a heartfelt email from my childhood friend, Marilyn.  We met in late grade 6, and got to become friends in Junior High and beyond.  We are both in awe of how we have been in touch for over 6 decades.  Marilyn wrote me a lovely letter about her feelings on our connections, and sent me a picture of her holding my book she just purchased.  I would say it is close to 40 years since we’ve seen each other in person…yet when I saw her face, I was taken back to a loving connection.

Later in the week, I received a rare email….from my dear brother David.  He had just read my book and wrote to express his wonder and amazement about the contents of the writings and said that he knew he would be referencing back to so many life observations and thoughts that I wrote about.
Congratulations came from my sister-in-law, Brenda who has been on this journey a bit longer than me, and therefore coming from a like minded person who understands of what I talk about is heart warming and special.

I have heard from people all across the country who heard that I was writing, and how they are looking forward to reading about the journey.

It is fascinating to me that when I decided to open my heart to the world, and show my vulnerability, what happened.  I have had so many conversations with people who are struggling, or know people who are.  I got a phone call recently asking me how to support a friend who is obviously having an issue with substance abuse.  My goal in publishing this writing is to reach a million humans, and I am well on my way.

Each of these conversations open my heart even wider.  I am so grateful that I made the journey I did, and now have richer relationships with those around me.
In the past I know that I focused on the negative too much and when that happened, I couldn’t see the abundance in my life as clearly.  When in a rut, or down in the dumps, or surrounded by negativity, the waters and the air around us are muddy/cloudy and it is easy to be judgmental, easy to snap at someone and very difficult to take the time to see our gratitudes and abundance.  

When I started to see the positive, and noticed how much better I felt, I wanted more of that.  I started to notice the good things around me, and more importantly for me, started to express it more.  Taking the time to chat with a stranger who looks a bit lost, smiling and saying good day, buying someone behind you in the drive-through a coffee, bring in treats to the office, and the joy just started flowing..…for the giver and the receivers.

To me, it is a choice.  Just as it was a choice for me to get help with my addiction, it is also a choice for me to spread joy, vs. negativity.  The more I appreciate all around me, the more joy comes to me, and the more I can give.  The world will reflect back to us what we embody.  The more you put out there, the more you will notice it coming back to you.

In Pure Joy,
Cheryl

June 1, 2024
Good Morning,
I was pondering today how my reactions to being thrown a curve ball in life have changed since my sobriety about four years ago.
What I know for sure, is that I am a different person than I was when I was drinking.  Of course, the obvious is being clear headed and able to function throughout the day without a cloud over my head.  The other obvious change is getting things done throughout my day without the obstacle of wanting/needing/craving a substance to take the stress or hurt away.
Now, I arise to having focus for the day, setting out a plan and feeling like my days are meaningful and productive.  What a gift to myself !
Every day has a few hick-ups….some small and incidental, and others that throw us for a loop.  What I have found is that I am better able to handle the smaller events and not allow them to ruin my day.  Being a few minutes late due to traffic is no reason to get upset, or start honking the horn, or shouting out loud.  It may be a frustration, but a frustration that can not be fixed with our reaction.  So why waste your precious energy on something so insignificant?  Does the negative reaction solve anything, does it make you feel better….not really.
So this is what I do:  Stop and say Can I change anything about this?  Is there something I can do, or something I can say to make this better?  If the answer is no, then stop and breathe is my go to…really deep breaths that start with bringing in the air from the bottom of my abdomen to the top of my lungs.  Slow and steady.  There is a meditation in my book that goes like this:
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Try that for as long as it takes
I thought of a time when I was in an airport and the flight was significantly delayed.  Nothing I could do about it.  There were no alternatives but to wait in the airport.  I got a beverage and a book and was grateful for the reading time, which in our busy lives sometimes is hard to find.  I also had a wonderful conversation with a stranger about some of our travels.  Had the flight been on time, I would not have received either of these gifts.
The same goes for a past hurt, that still nags at you.  I have learned to let them go with good success.  When I find myself obsessing over the past, or loosing sleep, I now more quickly stop, and tell myself that I am not going to allow that person or situation to zap my energy anymore.  The more I practiced this, the more quickly I am able to move on.  It is a practice that takes time, but perseverance is key.  My journal helps when I have at times think: Why am I wasting a piece of my day going over that stuff  again?
Sometimes the curve ball is a more significant situation which may take more time.  For example, loosing a dear friend or relative.  There of course is a grieving period, but your friend or relative doesn’t want you to stop enjoying life.  The first year or so after loosing a parent, of course I missed them.  But I knew that they would want me to move on, and my focus changed to being so grateful for them being in my live and the joyous times we had.
Look carefully at the picture …..do you see the dark and gloominess of the sky and water, or do you see hope in the light peeking through?