Today, July 20th marks the 4 year mark of my sobriety.  One of the most enlightening things that has evolved for me as I journey through my recovery is how much being vulnerable and talking about my flaws and struggles has helped me.  I no longer have to fumble with a little white lie, and even harder, to remember who knows what!
Free from the secrets of addiction…free from the stigma attached to having an addiction; free from the lying and pretending that I “just don’t feel like a drink right now” vs. “No thank you, I am a recovering alcoholic and don’t drink”; freedom from the thought that not drinking means no longer having any fun in a social situation; freedom to openly share my journey without fear of judgement; freedom to have an open conversation that may inspire others, and on and on.
Last month, I took a trip to Cobble Hill, B.C. to the treatment centre I attended in the summer of 2020, Cedars.  It was emotional for sure.  Was it overwhelming?  Not really I would say, but it sure did fill my bucket with gratitude.

My husband came with me and experienced the centre for the first time.  I attended recovery during the height of Covid, and there were no visitors during my 2 month time frame.  We walked the grounds as I pointed out the various buildings and activities and the memories it brought forth for me.  We talked about “Sam” who you have read about in my book, and sat at the pond where he and I would chat without clouded eyes.  We sat in the new teepee and chatted with Bruce, the Indigenous Leader about how my life has evolved since 2020.

We met up with a number of other individuals who influenced me during my stay.  Seeing people like Ethan (Director of Admissions) and Aaron (Alumni Relations Manager) and having discussions with them about my journey since was so healing and encouraging to keep moving forward up those stairs.  Embarking in conversations about my newly published book and speaking engagements in the future was inspiring.  Having brief re-unions with other counsellors like Karen and Mohammed filled my heart with gratitude.  It was also my pleasure to meet Stacey, the CEO of Cedars and hear of the future expansion plans for the recovery community.

While there, I asked to see my “before” picture (more like a mug shot) and my gratitude meter jumped, as I see where I am today.
I look forward to giving back to this community as time moves forward.  The treatment centre is opening more and more facilities over the next year, and I would love to contribute to them moving forward.  Good timing as I re-write my sobriety plan again this month.  If you have already read my book, you know that I re-visit my plan every six months.  I review a document on signs of possible relapse and revisit my goals for the next half year.  
This Journey is sooo worth it. If you are hesitant, connect with me via email and we can chat.  I am not a counsellor, but I am a fellow human who has struggled and is willing to chat.  Connect with a chat line; talk to a friend; call a treatment centre to talk and find resources; REACH OUT.

I read recently that forgiveness and honesty go hand in hand.  
Many times in life we are affected by something someone says, or does that hurts our feelings, makes us feel uncomfortable, and ultimately can affect our mood for a period of time.  Very often the person realizes their mistake and offers an apology which is great. However, more often than not we reply, “Oh, that’s ok”, or “Not to worry, it’s all right”.  When we do this we accept the comment said to us, and basically are giving permission to the other person for the behaviour to repeat itself.
Part of the reason we dismiss such comments or actions is because as humans we don’t  feel comfortable in any sort of conflict, so our reaction in wanting the tension to go away quickly is to dismiss it so the other person doesn’t feel bad.
However when we do this, we walk away feeling anger or hurtfulness for the better part of the day.  We brood, telling ourselves: “What a think to say to me”; “how rude was that”, etc. This puts us in “victim mode”.  
Meanwhile the other person, doesn’t give the hurtful comment or action another thought.
But, if we accept the apology by simply saying “thank you”, or “I appreciate and accept your apology”, we will feel better that we didn’t just brush off the remarks as if they didn’t bother us.  Being more honest in this way will lighten your load in that it doesn’t brood with you all day and also that the other person “got it”.
To truly create a more honest and harmonious relationship with someone close to you would be to have an honest and compassionate conversation about how those sorts of comments are affecting you.  
As time goes on with my healing, I am more likely to stop a friend or relative, by taking a deep breath and trusting that I will find the right way of telling them their actions are hurtful or difficult.
An example, early in my journey, two younger people in front of me in a line up were having an energetic conversation with a multitude of (what I considered) inappropriate language.  I found the language triggering and was bothered by it, so I asked them to refrain.  They apologized, and I said that I appreciated it.  There were no harsh words, just mutual respect.  It could have turned out differently, so perhaps choose your battles.
As my journey continues, I have more and more respect for myself and no longer have to remain silent, when the words and actions around me are hurtful.  
Again, I am on that ladder, taking baby steps to the next stair in front of me.