June 01st, 2024

June 1, 2024
Good Morning,
I was pondering today how my reactions to being thrown a curve ball in life have changed since my sobriety about four years ago.
What I know for sure, is that I am a different person than I was when I was drinking.  Of course, the obvious is being clear headed and able to function throughout the day without a cloud over my head.  The other obvious change is getting things done throughout my day without the obstacle of wanting/needing/craving a substance to take the stress or hurt away.
Now, I arise to having focus for the day, setting out a plan and feeling like my days are meaningful and productive.  What a gift to myself !
Every day has a few hick-ups….some small and incidental, and others that throw us for a loop.  What I have found is that I am better able to handle the smaller events and not allow them to ruin my day.  Being a few minutes late due to traffic is no reason to get upset, or start honking the horn, or shouting out loud.  It may be a frustration, but a frustration that can not be fixed with our reaction.  So why waste your precious energy on something so insignificant?  Does the negative reaction solve anything, does it make you feel better….not really.
So this is what I do:  Stop and say Can I change anything about this?  Is there something I can do, or something I can say to make this better?  If the answer is no, then stop and breathe is my go to…really deep breaths that start with bringing in the air from the bottom of my abdomen to the top of my lungs.  Slow and steady.  There is a meditation in my book that goes like this:
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Try that for as long as it takes
I thought of a time when I was in an airport and the flight was significantly delayed.  Nothing I could do about it.  There were no alternatives but to wait in the airport.  I got a beverage and a book and was grateful for the reading time, which in our busy lives sometimes is hard to find.  I also had a wonderful conversation with a stranger about some of our travels.  Had the flight been on time, I would not have received either of these gifts.
The same goes for a past hurt, that still nags at you.  I have learned to let them go with good success.  When I find myself obsessing over the past, or loosing sleep, I now more quickly stop, and tell myself that I am not going to allow that person or situation to zap my energy anymore.  The more I practiced this, the more quickly I am able to move on.  It is a practice that takes time, but perseverance is key.  My journal helps when I have at times think: Why am I wasting a piece of my day going over that stuff  again?
Sometimes the curve ball is a more significant situation which may take more time.  For example, loosing a dear friend or relative.  There of course is a grieving period, but your friend or relative doesn’t want you to stop enjoying life.  The first year or so after loosing a parent, of course I missed them.  But I knew that they would want me to move on, and my focus changed to being so grateful for them being in my live and the joyous times we had.
Look carefully at the picture …..do you see the dark and gloominess of the sky and water, or do you see hope in the light peeking through?